Swaim (Seriously)

Jun 30

The Day Crawled Up The Front Porch Stair

The day crawled up the front porch stair to die

It bled its vital reds into the air

To stain and bruise our underwater sky

Purple, orange, black and silver there

You crushed its ribcage ‘neath your tender rocking

A stench of sunset burst in all directions

A paradox of talking and not talking

At rest, yet somehow ever-effervescent

The corpse decayed to darkness, flecked with stars

That spiced the breeze I borrowed from your lungs

I held your breath, we hiked the path to Mars

Through night, with girded censures ‘round us hung

An intimacy won the hardest way

Accomplices, we kill another day.

May 2


"That’s All."

One for my baby. Loop is “Jets” by Bonobo.

Mar 18


"Internet Rich."

Written for the SXSW 2014 Interactive Awards.

Jan 21

Winter Clothes

I love you best in Winter

When the cold bites my skin

And I throw your legs around me

Like a scarf, to keep the heat in

When I hold your hands like mittens

Your hair a fur-fringed parka

I drape over my shoulders

As the cobalt-blue sky darkens

Your kindnesses like earmuffs

Your belly is my furnace

From within which sacred space

All my warmth is furnished

There’s no part of you, love

That I wouldn’t wear as mine

And be so proud and whole

Walking in winter clothes so fine.


For J-Mae, on the occasion of our semi-arbitrarily-chosen 1-year dating anniversary.


Dreamgirl: sad queen that

Painted my scene black

Gave me my peace back

Her hand: a creased map to

Dreaming: cheap laughs, we

Re-tract: to feel space

We made from ring-wraiths’

Bones: croak knowing tones

Home: a slab overgrown with

Love: no strings on doves

No: clipped wings, no

Gravity: upend ecstatically

Flight: to occupy

Space: time to thank

Time: space to say

Kiss: I know you know I know

The way: and so it goes

Without: us knowing why

Within: I get to see

You: The sun and sky

Future: understanding

Stringless, but still landing

Us: a soft sea canting

End: I start from nightmares

Your white hair: a time-chart

Sedimentary memories

Charity: Art

Love, what will I Write There?

Accretion: heartbeat heavy

Unstatuesque: our parts well-cast

Lost: inside a Dreamgirl

That lasts and lasts and lasts and lasts and…


For J. Mae, on the occasion of our semi-arbitrarily-chosen 1-year dating anniversarry.

Dec 18

whatsername969 said: Do you think you would ever publish a book of your poetry?

It’s one of my lifelong ambitions! So far, I have no strong publishing connections outside of the comedy world, nor do I really know how to go from a collection of poems to a finished, edited, published volume. If you do, or if anyone reading this thinks they could set me up with someone who’d be interested in publishing my work, please do that. I already have a book jacket design doodled in my High School English notebook!


"With Apologies to Raymond Scott."

I whipped this up because I was inspired by the heights of virtuosity achieved in George Watsky’s new album, Cardboard Castles, which you should purchase. Not sure what I’ll do with it, but it’s fast and fun to say, despite lacking a focused premise or anything, so I’m Tumbling it!

Watch the Skies!

Watch the skies!

For signs and symptoms:

Typhoons and hurricanes

Tsunamis, water spouts

Cold snaps and warm fronts

Winds that uproot

Rage that plays the boardwalk

Like piano keys—

One final, cataclysmic



Listen for it!

The thunderhead howls

Of a wounded animal:

Wet and thirsty at the same time

Smell the salt and coffee

Wake before dawn

To relocate the refuges

Copper and carbon—

Ancient tastes sliding

To the back of your tongue

Like a funnel cloud.


Tell the time!

Count heartbeats:

In the eruption of volcanoes

In the hourglass tides

In the casual shedding

Of one more species.

See the colors fade—

Red to blue to green to black

No great loss after all

Universally speaking.

So Take It

This life is a brief and a hard one

So take it.


This planet’s a secondhand, scarred one

So take it.



 This job is as good as you’ll get, son

So take it.



They lied when they said you were set, son

So take it.



Your lover’s a coward and plain, boy

So take it.



And you’re either worse or the same, boy

So take it.



We’re all gonna die in the end, kid

So take it.



It’s get what you can while you can, kid

So take it.



You’re lonely and so is your neighbor

So take it.



Old age and illness your savior

So take it.



And death is your prize at the end, sir

So take it.



Get up against the fence, cur

And take it.



But there is a dawn, and a turning

So take it.



And there is a calm, and a yearning

So take it.



There is a union of souls here

So take it.



The warmth of smoldering coals here

So take it.



There is a deepwell of solace

So take it.



There is a voice that may call us

So take it.



There is a friend in the treetops

So take it.



And there is the salt of your teardrops

So take it.



There is the sorrow of living

So take it.



And here is the love you’ve been given

So take it.

Nov 19


"Let’s Do Sex (Til Our Butts Fall Off)"

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